I Believe.

I must say that I have gone out with way more than 30 dates.  I want to use this post as a way to sum up some of the guys that I went out with but did not make their own blog.  This journey has been an exhausting one, but what has made this more exhausting than anything are the unavailable guys.  These guys are on dating sites saying that they are looking for a relationship long term, they want to get to know you and after two dates they want to sleep with you.  If you happen to sleep with one of these guys, you can kiss any type of relationship out the door.  If you do not sleep with one of these guys, you can also kiss any type of relationship out the door.  I can only speak from a female perspective, so for you guys out there I am sure this may happen to you, but quite frankly this blog is for all the single available ladies out there.  The question I ask, is are you paying a fee on a dating site, are you taking time out of your day to set up a dating site because you have that hard of a time getting laid?  Is a dating site what it takes for these guys to get laid?  I would respect a man who on his profile stated..."My name is ________ and I do not want a relationship with you, I want to take you out for drinks, get you drunk, get you back to my place and have sex with you.  While I am doing this to you, I am also going to be dating and sleeping with several other girls.  If you are interested wink at me."  Because I am the type of girl that will respect that, and if I do not see a potential of a relationship with you, there may be one night I wink at you. 

The problem is this, there are girls out there that will fall for anything and it makes the girls who sees a guy for what he really is look crazy and drama filled.  In this society monogamy and commitment are two words that have ZERO meaning.  I want to find someone who does know what those two words mean and truly wants to get to know me and what is in my heart.  Doing this blog and meeting these guys have really taught me to look at myself and see where I am in my life.  It has not always been pretty.  But I can say this.  I believe in love.  I believe there is someone out there for me.  I believe that the guy that is right for me will not have to be forced into a relationship with me, it will just happen.  I believe that there is a guy out there that will call me at 4:30 in the afternoon and ask me to dinner instead of waiting to call me at 9:30 at night wanting to come over.  I believe there is a guy out there that will never say a harsh word through text or over the phone to me.  I believe there is a guy that when we walk into a room he will grab my hand and never let go.  I believe there is a guy that will sit on the couch next to me while we watch a movie and never once try to "make a move".  I believe there is a guy that will not laugh at the domestic bottle beer that I drink.  I believe there is a guy that will hug me goodnight and not try to kiss me on the first date.  I believe there is a guy that will show up at my door with coffee and breakfast instead of asking to spend the night so he can make those things for me in the morning.  I believe there is a guy that will call me and text me just as many times as he did before we had sex, after we have sex.  I believe that is out there and I am determined to find it!!!  Why settle for second best?  Life is too short to not be with someone that you love and respect.  I know before I find all of these things in a guy, I need to respect myself and know what I want.  I am learning how to do this, I have learned a lot over these past few months and have taken something away from every date I went on, good or bad.  At this point I am learning to be okay with life, and where I stand at this very moment.

I am now off the dating site and I am just going to be me and let life and love take its course.  Look out for part two!!!

~ONWARD

He's Just Not That Into You.........

This was my last date from the dating site.  The moment I said his name out loud, I had a great feeling about him.  His name rolled off my tongue and I was excited to meet him.  I knew very little about He's Just Not That Into You, but I was drawn to him.  We decided to meet after a few emails and a few text messages.  We met at a great restaurant and after sitting down he tells me that he actually cancelled a date so that he could go out with me.  The food and conversation was wonderful.  Now, he is a few years older than me and by few I mean quite a few.  But I did not care, I liked this guy and wanted to see him again and again. 

He's Just Not That Into You had to go out of town for business and we talked while he was out of town.  At this point I was a smitten kitten.  While he was out of town I had other guys texting me and I was actually telling them that I was seeing someone.  I wanted to see where this could go with He's Just Not That Into You and how could I really do that if I was dating and talking to several other guys.  At the end of his trip he tells me that his ride from the airport fell through and so I offer to pick him up at 10:50PM.  I had a party that I needed to go to that night, but I agreed to pick him up because I wanted to see him.  I got there TEN minutes EARLY!!!  The ride back to his place was a little quite, I guess I was a little nervous who knows.  We arrive back to his house, which is AMAZING.  The house went on for DAYS and everything was custom.  I sit down and he feeds me caviar.  This was the most delicious thing I have ever tasted.  We have a good time and it is getting late.  He asks me to stay over and I agree but tell him we will not be having sex.  He understands and we go to bed.  Early the next morning he rolls over and pulls out a condom.  I tell him again that we are not having sex and he states he is okay with that.  He makes me coffee when we get up.  That day I have a party that I am hosting and I invite him.  He accepts the invitation and tells me he will see me later on.

That night, I am trying to be the hostess with the mostest and have all my close friends over.  He arrives about an hour late, but he is here.  I am nervous for all my close friends to meet him.  He brings is own drinks and proceeded to go sit down.  I am all over the place and trying to talk to everyone.  After less than an hour of him being there, he tells my girlfriend who sat down to talk to him that he is going outside to smoke a cigar.  He is gone for a while and we look and he has taken his trench coat and vanished.  He is gone.  I tried calling him, no answer.  I texted him, no response.  He has literally left the building with no plans on returning.  What is crazy is my friends and I were waiting around puzzled and we were giving him the benefit of the doubt that maybe just maybe he ran to the gas station.  But after one hour turned into two, I realized that He's Just Not That Into You is really just not that into ME.  He left my party without saying bye, thanks I had a nice time, kiss my ass, nothing.  All I am left with is his beer that he brought because mine was not good enough and the after taste of the caviar he fed me.  Had all that I had done to some of these guys come back around to bite me?  Guess so, they say Karma is a bitch if you are. 

The next morning I lay in bed going over and over in my head what went wrong.  Was it because I didn't sleep with him, was it because my house was too small and I had a stain on my carpet?  Did he not like my friends?  And then it hit me, I did not introduce him to one single person.  WHY WHY WHY??? Why did I not introduce him to anyone?  Was I too busy hosting?  He seemed like a confident man and we were all in the same room, but still why didn't I introduce him?  So is that why he left?  All that is left is to wonder what happened.  I go back through and read his text messages to me and I stumble across this one that holds true that he sent me a week or so before his exit...

HJNTIY:  Facts about Me: 1) When I'm "IN", I'm all in. 2) If I don't think it is working I say so and end it.  I don't linger. 3) Life is too short so I want to spend it with someone who is extraordinary (like me!). 4) I am picky (& yes my friends, too, bitch about it) because my standards are very high.  I'm not gonna apologize for this.  FYI I think you are extraordinary.

Well a few things are true, he does not linger he grabs his trench coat and bounces.  When it is not working he leaves without saying goodbye.  And yes I am extraordinary.......

~ONWARD

Have You Already Vanished??????????

We met for coffee and the text I received after was the following:

"Have You Already Vanished" with this picture attached.  There is nothing else to say about this date.

~ONWARD

Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM............

On Monday night I had a wedding reception that I needed to attend.  Yes, I know a wedding reception on a Monday night.  It was really crazy but the main thing is I needed a date.  I had a guy that was just itching to go out with me, so last minute I call him and of course he is ready to go.  No questions asked and he meets me in the parking lot of the restaurant.  We walk in and grab a table and immediately he is all over me.  Touching me, grabbing me, wanting to me near me and just basically getting on my nerves.  I finally broke free from my grabby grabby date and went to the bar.  As I am standing at the bar one of the groom's best friends approach me.  Now he was smokin' HOT!!!!!!  This guy starts making small talk to me and he follows me back to my table.  Smokin hot guy notices that the screen on my phone is broken and he tells me that his friend can fix my screen tomorrow.  As we all sit at this big table, Smokin Hot will not stop talking and looking at me and Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM will not stop touching me.  I was getting totally grossed out by Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM.  He now had his hand up the back of my shirt rubbing on my back.  I wanted to look at him and say, "Oh, I am sorry do you work at Massage Envy and have I paid you to touch my back"?  Smokin Hot could tell I was uncomfortable and so he continued to make conversation.  Every time I got up to go somewhere, so did Smokin Hot.  If I went to the bar Smokin Hot was there.  If I went to the bathroom, Smokin Hot went to the bathroom.  All the while Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM cannot seem to quit touching me.  Finally the night starts to wind down, and Smokin Hot approaches me and says he would like to continue this night.  I wanted to continue the night with him as well, but grabby hands would not leave my side now.  I finally tell Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM that I am ready to leave.  We walk to our car and he kisses me goodbye.  He gets in his car, I get in my car and Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM leaves and I get out of my car.  I go back in and grab Smokin' Hot.  We go to another little pub and grab a drink and have GREAT conversation.......

I drive home thinking, here I have gone on almost 30 dates and what if the guy that was meant for me was not even on this dating site to begin with.  I don't know what will happen with Smokin' Hot and I, but I will tell you this.  I am still smiling and it is not because of grabby hands. 

~ONWARD

Picture Perfect............

Sunday's date was very quick.  Picture Perfect and I had spoken on the phone a few times and we decided on a quick bit to eat early in the evening.  I was late of course, and he was waiting for me at the table.  I was somewhat physically attracted to him and the first part of our date the conversation was good.  I thought at first, "Hey, I might actually like this guy."  Then of course like so many of them do....it happened.  He started talking about his friend that happens to be a girl.  My girlfriend does this, my girlfriend does that and my girlfriend is such a "good" friend.  If talking about her was not enough, Picture Perfect then got out his phone and started showing me pictures of his "friend" that happens to be a girl.  I saw pictures of her at a sporting event, I saw pictures of her when she was with him, I saw pictures of her dressed up in her Halloween costume and also pictures of boots that she makes.  Yes, she makes boots.  And then he started asking me how I could help her out in branding her boots.  Did I know anyone that could help her out.  How can she really get her name out there?  I mean SERIOUSLY???  Was I in a business meeting or on a date.  BOOTS, BOOTS, BOOTS, BOOTS and more BOOTS.  Pictures, Pictures and more Pictures of her and her BOOTS.  Almost 2 hours of Picture Perfect, more pictures and fury boots.  At the end of the date I had felt like I had just watched an infomercial on fury boots.  We were finally finished with our date/business meeting and he walked me to my car. 

I just drove away thinking, first I do not want to sit on a date with a guy that wants to discuss business and second I do not want to be on a date with a guy that constantly talks about another woman.  I am not a jealous person but GEEZE, don't you want to know about me?  I want to be on a date that wants to get to know what I like.  What if I am against fury boots?  What about that?  What if I HATE fury boots?  Picture Perfect would never know, because he NEVER asked anything about me.  Of course I get the next day text and it said....

PP:  Where would you like to go for date number 2?
Me:  No response.

I did not respond and do not feel like responding because I am scared he is going to show up with a power point presentation on fury boots and I am just too exhausted to watch that.

~ONWARD 

Asian Express...........

On Saturday I went to grab a drink with Asian Express.  This guy had only sent me one email asking to grab dinner.  I told him I could not grab dinner because I had other plans.  So we both agreed to meet for one drink.  The location was great but I saw 5 people that I knew.  One of which was a guy that I dated and another one was someone I secretly wanted to sleep with.  So this was turning out just great 5 minutes in to it.  We grab two seats at the bar, and then it began.  This guy talked non-stop about Asia and how he loved Asian women.  How Asian women love him, how he loves Asian women, how Asian women are so small and petite, how Asian women are so cute, and how Asian women are just great all the way around.  For anyone reading this blog and know who I am, there are a couple of things you know about me.  Number 1. I am NOT Asian.  Number 2.  I am not petite (for those who do not know, I am 5'10).  And Number 3. At this point I wanted to down my drink and PEACE out.  So that is exactly what I did.  After an hour of enduring everything and anything about Asia, I decided to do just that.  I peaced out.  I left before Asian Express even got his check. 

Now, I know that I usually  blog about the after date text, but Asian Express did not text me after the date and I am guessing that is because I do not fit criteria number 1 from above. 

~ONWARD

Eminem..........

So I did something for my Friday night date that I will never do again.  I went out with a guy that I never spoke on the phone with.  We went to a little place that was middle of the road.  My date stated through text that I would know him as the guy sitting at the bar with black pants and white shoes.  I meet him and indeed he was wearing those sparkling white shoes.  What he did not mention was that he would also be wearing a ring that he bought in Panama City which I later found out he only wears on special occasions.   We sit down to eat and then it started.  He was non-stop talking about underground hip-hop and rappers.  He professes that he too is an underground hip hopper and knows everything about music.  I looked and read over my menu three times just so I would not have to talk to Eminem.  So yes, I was on a date with an underground rapper.  I had already been on a date this week with Judy Garland and now I was at the other end of the spectrum with Eminem.  I was MISERABLE!!!!  After our dinner, he wanted to go grab coffee next door.  I oblige just so I can get coffee so that I could drive home due to the fact I was SOOOO bored with Eminem.  I go to sit down to get coffee and he wants to sit on the same side of the booth as me.  That just creeped me out.  He talked about how good I smelled and I thought about if he was going to ask me to buy a CD from the back of his trunk when we were finished.  As our date FINALLY ends, he asked to kiss me and I said not on the first date......

~ONWARD