So on Thursday I had two dates in one day. I must say that at this point I am getting very discouraged. But I must press on. I decided to do a lunch date with And So You Are Married because my next few nights are booked up. We had spoken on the phone and had sent several text message back and forth for about a week. We decided on a meat n three which I love!!! I arrive only about 5 minutes late and he is already there at a table. He is not super attractive but we had good phone conversations so I think why not and have a seat. We order our food and begin talking about our families. He mentions something about his wife and I think to myself he must have meant to say ex-wife. So, I say "do you mean ex-wife"? He then looks at me and says no, my wife. I then say...And So You Are Married? I say, "Do you live with your wife"? He nonchalantly state that yes he lives with his wife and their children. I was floored I ask if his wife knows that he is on a dating site, he looks at me and says "Uh hell no she would kill me". He tells me that he is not happy and that he is just trying to see what else is out there. I think I bruised my jaw due to the fact it hit the table so hard. I don't want to judge people and their relationship, but I also do not want to be apart of him trying to "find what is better." I look at him and thank him for meeting me and grab my purse and leave. I did not even get to taste my macaroni and mashed potatoes which made me even more mad. If And So You Are Married called me once he called me a thousand times after I left and also sent that many text messages, just letting me know that he really likes me and thinks I could be the "one" for him.
On to the night, my date and I had also spoken for about a week over the phone. He decided on a nice place and then told me to bring along some friends. I thought this was odd, but hey why not. So armed with my gal pal we go and meet my date. When I see him I was happy. He was tall, handsome and oh so charming. We had a great meal and ordered almost everything off the menu. The three of us enjoy a nice meal, me, my gal pal and My Livin Girlfriend. I really liked him and so did my friend. He was so easy to talk to and had such a great sense of humor. Even though I had a rough first date of the day, this one was making up for it. My friend was ready to go but I was not. She said she could cab it to her house and off she went. My date also told me that he had taken a cab to dinner. I was enjoying myself, this man was educated, had a great job and was so funny. After a few hours my date asks me if I would mind driving him to his house so that I can see his "mansion". Yes, he said mansion. I liked him so I obliged. Now, he did live in a nice house but I would not call it a mansion. We walk in and he wants to take me on a tour so on a tour we go. He shows me the living room, the den and the outside pool area. As we are walking back inside from the pool I notice a pair of female slip on's with a slight heel. I put that in the back of my mind. As we go into the master bedroom I notice a curling iron in the master bedroom. I then ask, "Do you use that curling iron often"? (Now I must say that my date is bald) He looks at me and says, "Oh that is My Livin Girlfriend's". Discouraged is not even an appropriate word to use at this moment. I say you have a girlfriend that lives with you? Yeah, but we just started sleeping in separate rooms. I then start to notice all the pictures of the two of them together. I ask where she is and he states she is out of town working for the night. I then begin to understand why he would want my friend there, so it would not look like a date. I grab my keys, thank him for dinner and walk to my car to go home.
That night and the next morning I want to throw in the towel. I mean how did this happen, two dates in one day and both not available. I do not want to do this anymore. I have gotten several emails from men that are upfront about being married. I received one the other day that told me he was married and that his wife knew he was on the dating site. He stated that she wanted him to be happy. This was his second marriage and did not want to be divorced twice. As I stated earlier, I am not one to judge someone and their marriage or relationship but if you are not happy then GET OUT!! Be enough of a MAN or a WOMAN and follow your heart and do what you want and what will make you happy. Why are you on a dating site? Now, I know I am on this dating site and blogging about it, but I want to find someone that makes me happy and find a true relationship. But I also want to write this blog for all the non-single people out there to let them know how hard dating is and also for all the single people out there to let them know they are not alone. There are some situations in life that you cannot control and then there are some that you can, I will tell you this I am not the girl that will allow herself to be in any type of relationship with a man that is unavailable.
~ONWARD
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