I Believe.

I must say that I have gone out with way more than 30 dates.  I want to use this post as a way to sum up some of the guys that I went out with but did not make their own blog.  This journey has been an exhausting one, but what has made this more exhausting than anything are the unavailable guys.  These guys are on dating sites saying that they are looking for a relationship long term, they want to get to know you and after two dates they want to sleep with you.  If you happen to sleep with one of these guys, you can kiss any type of relationship out the door.  If you do not sleep with one of these guys, you can also kiss any type of relationship out the door.  I can only speak from a female perspective, so for you guys out there I am sure this may happen to you, but quite frankly this blog is for all the single available ladies out there.  The question I ask, is are you paying a fee on a dating site, are you taking time out of your day to set up a dating site because you have that hard of a time getting laid?  Is a dating site what it takes for these guys to get laid?  I would respect a man who on his profile stated..."My name is ________ and I do not want a relationship with you, I want to take you out for drinks, get you drunk, get you back to my place and have sex with you.  While I am doing this to you, I am also going to be dating and sleeping with several other girls.  If you are interested wink at me."  Because I am the type of girl that will respect that, and if I do not see a potential of a relationship with you, there may be one night I wink at you. 

The problem is this, there are girls out there that will fall for anything and it makes the girls who sees a guy for what he really is look crazy and drama filled.  In this society monogamy and commitment are two words that have ZERO meaning.  I want to find someone who does know what those two words mean and truly wants to get to know me and what is in my heart.  Doing this blog and meeting these guys have really taught me to look at myself and see where I am in my life.  It has not always been pretty.  But I can say this.  I believe in love.  I believe there is someone out there for me.  I believe that the guy that is right for me will not have to be forced into a relationship with me, it will just happen.  I believe that there is a guy out there that will call me at 4:30 in the afternoon and ask me to dinner instead of waiting to call me at 9:30 at night wanting to come over.  I believe there is a guy out there that will never say a harsh word through text or over the phone to me.  I believe there is a guy that when we walk into a room he will grab my hand and never let go.  I believe there is a guy that will sit on the couch next to me while we watch a movie and never once try to "make a move".  I believe there is a guy that will not laugh at the domestic bottle beer that I drink.  I believe there is a guy that will hug me goodnight and not try to kiss me on the first date.  I believe there is a guy that will show up at my door with coffee and breakfast instead of asking to spend the night so he can make those things for me in the morning.  I believe there is a guy that will call me and text me just as many times as he did before we had sex, after we have sex.  I believe that is out there and I am determined to find it!!!  Why settle for second best?  Life is too short to not be with someone that you love and respect.  I know before I find all of these things in a guy, I need to respect myself and know what I want.  I am learning how to do this, I have learned a lot over these past few months and have taken something away from every date I went on, good or bad.  At this point I am learning to be okay with life, and where I stand at this very moment.

I am now off the dating site and I am just going to be me and let life and love take its course.  Look out for part two!!!

~ONWARD

He's Just Not That Into You.........

This was my last date from the dating site.  The moment I said his name out loud, I had a great feeling about him.  His name rolled off my tongue and I was excited to meet him.  I knew very little about He's Just Not That Into You, but I was drawn to him.  We decided to meet after a few emails and a few text messages.  We met at a great restaurant and after sitting down he tells me that he actually cancelled a date so that he could go out with me.  The food and conversation was wonderful.  Now, he is a few years older than me and by few I mean quite a few.  But I did not care, I liked this guy and wanted to see him again and again. 

He's Just Not That Into You had to go out of town for business and we talked while he was out of town.  At this point I was a smitten kitten.  While he was out of town I had other guys texting me and I was actually telling them that I was seeing someone.  I wanted to see where this could go with He's Just Not That Into You and how could I really do that if I was dating and talking to several other guys.  At the end of his trip he tells me that his ride from the airport fell through and so I offer to pick him up at 10:50PM.  I had a party that I needed to go to that night, but I agreed to pick him up because I wanted to see him.  I got there TEN minutes EARLY!!!  The ride back to his place was a little quite, I guess I was a little nervous who knows.  We arrive back to his house, which is AMAZING.  The house went on for DAYS and everything was custom.  I sit down and he feeds me caviar.  This was the most delicious thing I have ever tasted.  We have a good time and it is getting late.  He asks me to stay over and I agree but tell him we will not be having sex.  He understands and we go to bed.  Early the next morning he rolls over and pulls out a condom.  I tell him again that we are not having sex and he states he is okay with that.  He makes me coffee when we get up.  That day I have a party that I am hosting and I invite him.  He accepts the invitation and tells me he will see me later on.

That night, I am trying to be the hostess with the mostest and have all my close friends over.  He arrives about an hour late, but he is here.  I am nervous for all my close friends to meet him.  He brings is own drinks and proceeded to go sit down.  I am all over the place and trying to talk to everyone.  After less than an hour of him being there, he tells my girlfriend who sat down to talk to him that he is going outside to smoke a cigar.  He is gone for a while and we look and he has taken his trench coat and vanished.  He is gone.  I tried calling him, no answer.  I texted him, no response.  He has literally left the building with no plans on returning.  What is crazy is my friends and I were waiting around puzzled and we were giving him the benefit of the doubt that maybe just maybe he ran to the gas station.  But after one hour turned into two, I realized that He's Just Not That Into You is really just not that into ME.  He left my party without saying bye, thanks I had a nice time, kiss my ass, nothing.  All I am left with is his beer that he brought because mine was not good enough and the after taste of the caviar he fed me.  Had all that I had done to some of these guys come back around to bite me?  Guess so, they say Karma is a bitch if you are. 

The next morning I lay in bed going over and over in my head what went wrong.  Was it because I didn't sleep with him, was it because my house was too small and I had a stain on my carpet?  Did he not like my friends?  And then it hit me, I did not introduce him to one single person.  WHY WHY WHY??? Why did I not introduce him to anyone?  Was I too busy hosting?  He seemed like a confident man and we were all in the same room, but still why didn't I introduce him?  So is that why he left?  All that is left is to wonder what happened.  I go back through and read his text messages to me and I stumble across this one that holds true that he sent me a week or so before his exit...

HJNTIY:  Facts about Me: 1) When I'm "IN", I'm all in. 2) If I don't think it is working I say so and end it.  I don't linger. 3) Life is too short so I want to spend it with someone who is extraordinary (like me!). 4) I am picky (& yes my friends, too, bitch about it) because my standards are very high.  I'm not gonna apologize for this.  FYI I think you are extraordinary.

Well a few things are true, he does not linger he grabs his trench coat and bounces.  When it is not working he leaves without saying goodbye.  And yes I am extraordinary.......

~ONWARD

Have You Already Vanished??????????

We met for coffee and the text I received after was the following:

"Have You Already Vanished" with this picture attached.  There is nothing else to say about this date.

~ONWARD

Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM............

On Monday night I had a wedding reception that I needed to attend.  Yes, I know a wedding reception on a Monday night.  It was really crazy but the main thing is I needed a date.  I had a guy that was just itching to go out with me, so last minute I call him and of course he is ready to go.  No questions asked and he meets me in the parking lot of the restaurant.  We walk in and grab a table and immediately he is all over me.  Touching me, grabbing me, wanting to me near me and just basically getting on my nerves.  I finally broke free from my grabby grabby date and went to the bar.  As I am standing at the bar one of the groom's best friends approach me.  Now he was smokin' HOT!!!!!!  This guy starts making small talk to me and he follows me back to my table.  Smokin hot guy notices that the screen on my phone is broken and he tells me that his friend can fix my screen tomorrow.  As we all sit at this big table, Smokin Hot will not stop talking and looking at me and Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM will not stop touching me.  I was getting totally grossed out by Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM.  He now had his hand up the back of my shirt rubbing on my back.  I wanted to look at him and say, "Oh, I am sorry do you work at Massage Envy and have I paid you to touch my back"?  Smokin Hot could tell I was uncomfortable and so he continued to make conversation.  Every time I got up to go somewhere, so did Smokin Hot.  If I went to the bar Smokin Hot was there.  If I went to the bathroom, Smokin Hot went to the bathroom.  All the while Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM cannot seem to quit touching me.  Finally the night starts to wind down, and Smokin Hot approaches me and says he would like to continue this night.  I wanted to continue the night with him as well, but grabby hands would not leave my side now.  I finally tell Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM that I am ready to leave.  We walk to our car and he kisses me goodbye.  He gets in his car, I get in my car and Sorry, I'm leaving with HIM leaves and I get out of my car.  I go back in and grab Smokin' Hot.  We go to another little pub and grab a drink and have GREAT conversation.......

I drive home thinking, here I have gone on almost 30 dates and what if the guy that was meant for me was not even on this dating site to begin with.  I don't know what will happen with Smokin' Hot and I, but I will tell you this.  I am still smiling and it is not because of grabby hands. 

~ONWARD

Picture Perfect............

Sunday's date was very quick.  Picture Perfect and I had spoken on the phone a few times and we decided on a quick bit to eat early in the evening.  I was late of course, and he was waiting for me at the table.  I was somewhat physically attracted to him and the first part of our date the conversation was good.  I thought at first, "Hey, I might actually like this guy."  Then of course like so many of them do....it happened.  He started talking about his friend that happens to be a girl.  My girlfriend does this, my girlfriend does that and my girlfriend is such a "good" friend.  If talking about her was not enough, Picture Perfect then got out his phone and started showing me pictures of his "friend" that happens to be a girl.  I saw pictures of her at a sporting event, I saw pictures of her when she was with him, I saw pictures of her dressed up in her Halloween costume and also pictures of boots that she makes.  Yes, she makes boots.  And then he started asking me how I could help her out in branding her boots.  Did I know anyone that could help her out.  How can she really get her name out there?  I mean SERIOUSLY???  Was I in a business meeting or on a date.  BOOTS, BOOTS, BOOTS, BOOTS and more BOOTS.  Pictures, Pictures and more Pictures of her and her BOOTS.  Almost 2 hours of Picture Perfect, more pictures and fury boots.  At the end of the date I had felt like I had just watched an infomercial on fury boots.  We were finally finished with our date/business meeting and he walked me to my car. 

I just drove away thinking, first I do not want to sit on a date with a guy that wants to discuss business and second I do not want to be on a date with a guy that constantly talks about another woman.  I am not a jealous person but GEEZE, don't you want to know about me?  I want to be on a date that wants to get to know what I like.  What if I am against fury boots?  What about that?  What if I HATE fury boots?  Picture Perfect would never know, because he NEVER asked anything about me.  Of course I get the next day text and it said....

PP:  Where would you like to go for date number 2?
Me:  No response.

I did not respond and do not feel like responding because I am scared he is going to show up with a power point presentation on fury boots and I am just too exhausted to watch that.

~ONWARD 

Asian Express...........

On Saturday I went to grab a drink with Asian Express.  This guy had only sent me one email asking to grab dinner.  I told him I could not grab dinner because I had other plans.  So we both agreed to meet for one drink.  The location was great but I saw 5 people that I knew.  One of which was a guy that I dated and another one was someone I secretly wanted to sleep with.  So this was turning out just great 5 minutes in to it.  We grab two seats at the bar, and then it began.  This guy talked non-stop about Asia and how he loved Asian women.  How Asian women love him, how he loves Asian women, how Asian women are so small and petite, how Asian women are so cute, and how Asian women are just great all the way around.  For anyone reading this blog and know who I am, there are a couple of things you know about me.  Number 1. I am NOT Asian.  Number 2.  I am not petite (for those who do not know, I am 5'10).  And Number 3. At this point I wanted to down my drink and PEACE out.  So that is exactly what I did.  After an hour of enduring everything and anything about Asia, I decided to do just that.  I peaced out.  I left before Asian Express even got his check. 

Now, I know that I usually  blog about the after date text, but Asian Express did not text me after the date and I am guessing that is because I do not fit criteria number 1 from above. 

~ONWARD

Eminem..........

So I did something for my Friday night date that I will never do again.  I went out with a guy that I never spoke on the phone with.  We went to a little place that was middle of the road.  My date stated through text that I would know him as the guy sitting at the bar with black pants and white shoes.  I meet him and indeed he was wearing those sparkling white shoes.  What he did not mention was that he would also be wearing a ring that he bought in Panama City which I later found out he only wears on special occasions.   We sit down to eat and then it started.  He was non-stop talking about underground hip-hop and rappers.  He professes that he too is an underground hip hopper and knows everything about music.  I looked and read over my menu three times just so I would not have to talk to Eminem.  So yes, I was on a date with an underground rapper.  I had already been on a date this week with Judy Garland and now I was at the other end of the spectrum with Eminem.  I was MISERABLE!!!!  After our dinner, he wanted to go grab coffee next door.  I oblige just so I can get coffee so that I could drive home due to the fact I was SOOOO bored with Eminem.  I go to sit down to get coffee and he wants to sit on the same side of the booth as me.  That just creeped me out.  He talked about how good I smelled and I thought about if he was going to ask me to buy a CD from the back of his trunk when we were finished.  As our date FINALLY ends, he asked to kiss me and I said not on the first date......

~ONWARD

FAFAFAFALALALALA.....We're SO FABULOUS!!!!!

OH MY GOODNESS, Thursday's date was one for the books.  I met a guy that lives out of state but does business throughout the week here and he was going to be in town for lunch and wanted to meet.  We meet at one of my favorite places to eat.  He walks in and was wearing scrubs, now I love a man in scrubs.  His body was great, but his hair looked like he just filmed a John Hughes 1980's movie. That hair belonged in the Breakfast Club.  Once again as on so many of my dates, we order everything on the menu.  Chicken salad, flatbread pizza, macaroni and cheese, tuna and rice.  I ate more than he did.  He ate like a girl and I ate like a sumo wrestler.  He starts off by telling me that he has just had his most recent job for a few years.  He tells me that he had gotten let go from his previous job due to cross dressing.  I look at him as he says this and think to myself that I may need another order of macaroni and cheese.  He then starts talking about his two ex-wives and one particular step-son.  He then starts crying at the table while talking about how much he misses his step-son.  He says, "I can't believe I am crying on a first date" I think to myself, "I can't believe I have not taken a shot yet at the bar".  I listen to him cry and try not to laugh.  The date continues and our server comes to our table to check on us and she asked us how we were doing.  My date then busts out in SINGING...."We're SOOOOOOO FABULOUS".  As if he is on Glee the TV show.  I thought I was at a Broadway show.  Our poor little server looked scared out of her mind.  After a little while longer our server comes back to the table and was like do you need your check.  My date looks at her and says, "No we need a blanket, because we are going to stay here all night."  I just shake my head.  His singing though was not over.  He called his "guy" friend at the table and when he got his VM, he sang into the phone in a deep voice, "YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE".  I mean seriously was I on a date with Judy Garland?  We end the date and I had two to go boxes with me.  Needless to say this date was entertaining and as I said before I love a MAN in scrubs but do not like a man who wears scrubs and acts like more of a girl than me.

~ONWARD 

Sweet Little Coffee Date...Part 2

So on Wednesday I was eating lunch with a girlfriend and I receive a text message from Sweet Little Coffee Date part 2.  Now if you will remember on Monday I had a great little coffee date that got my Monday started off to a great start.

SLCDP2:  Did you get a hike today?  I am going to hike today around 4pm if you want to join me.
Me:  Sure, see you at 4pm.....

I arrive with my belly full and on time.  I see him and I just smile.  I think I may like this guy.  We started on our hike and talked non-stop for the next 2 hours.  We talked about our family and my kids.  He talked about his family and his ex-girlfriend's.  We talked about church and about our belief's.  He then asked some very personal questions that had to do with financial stuff.  I should not have told him the information that I did.  He then starts to tell me how much he wants a family and he does not have kids of his own and that we would really like children.  I did not know what to say to this.  I am finished having children.  I have two great boy's and that is enough for me.  I love my kids, but I do not want anymore.  Sweet Little Coffee Date Part 2 really wanted a family of his own.  This was something I knew may happen at some point.  I knew I may meet a guy that wanted children of his own and I already knew I was finished having children.  So what do you do?  I like this guy and now not sure what to do.  We end our hike and say our goodbyes.

SLCDP2:  I just want you to know that I have plugged your name in my phone so I will not confuse you with any other (insert my name here).  Thanks for being so forthright with everything.
Me:  No problem....My life is an open book.
SLCDP2:  Let's go out again and see if we can get to know each other.  The physical part is not a prob for me!!!
Me: ;)

I really like this guy and would love for it to continue, but we are on two different pages in our life.  He has never been married and really wants to get married and have children of his own.  I have been married and have two great children and feel I am finished having children.  Will I get married again?  I don't know.  I don't want this guy to miss out on having a family of his own, I don't want him to miss out on experiencing what I did with my two little one's.  This is a tough situation to be in.  What do you do with a guy that you like but the two of you are reading out of two different books?

~ONWARD

Here's My Number............

On Tuesday, I decided to meet a guy that really I could either take or leave.  He wanted to meet for a quick drink and a bite to eat.  I meet my date and we sit down and order drinks and an appetizer.  Out of the corner of my eye I see this beautiful man walk in and sit at a table near me.  He sits at a table with a couple so he is the third wheel.  I cannot take my eyes off of this man.  In my head I nickname him Black Beauty.  I am only half interested in Here's My Number.  I have a few drinks and order a small thing to eat.  My mind was on Black Beauty.  I notice that Black Beauty is also looking at me.  In fact he is almost staring at me.  I get up to go to the bathroom and I notice Black Beauty watching me go to the bathroom.  I get back to my seat with Here's My Number and the only thing I can think of is, "How am I going to get my number to Black Beauty"?  I pull out my phone as if I am taking a note and write my number down on a napkin.  I then go to the bathroom again.  A server approaches me and she asked me if I was on a date.  I tell her yes, but that I need a favor.  I needed her to hand Black Beauty my napkin.  She was against it at first, but then agreed.  SCORE, I had given Black Beauty my number.

Now before I tell you what happened next, I need to clear something up.  I get so many emails and winks from guys that at times I cannot keep them straight.  If I am interested in a guy then I will give him my number.  Now, if I look at a guy's profile I may not look at it again after the first time.  With that being said, I will return to my story.  I get back to my seat and I immediately get a text and in my phone I have this particular number saved as "Black Beauty"  the text reads:

BB:  You passed me......and the bartender gave me your number ironically
Me: OMG I am on a first time date LOL.
BB: Well, did you not know it was me?
Me: No sir, did you recognize me?
BB: YES!!!

So needless to say Black Beauty and I had emailed and texted several times and I had actually blown him off and never met him.  Now, here I am on this date and this Black Beauty catches my eye, I think I am filming Sex and the City and try to give this guy my number when all along I had indeed already spoken to this guy and blown him off.

The text messages continue:

BB: Gotcha.....So that date tonight........and without knowing it was me, BTW I texted you yesterday. Why give the bartender your number when you were on a date.
Me: A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.  Actually I can count on one hand how many times I have given a guy my number.  What are the odds?  Hilarious.

Black Beauty then asks for me to meet me after my date with Here's My Number.  I tell him I can only handle one date in one night.  I promise him that we will meet later that week.

I end my date with Here's My Number which in my mind was not even a real date for him.  Sad for Here's My Number because Black Beauty distracted me from his date.

So far it has not worked out for Black Beauty and I to go out?  What is funny is that when you have something you want something else.  Black Beauty had asked me out twice before and I had blown him off, yet when I saw him I was mesmerized by him.  So why would I blow him off two times before??  Let me just tell you ladies, he is one Black Beauty.

~ONWARD 

Let's Talk About Dating..............................

On this particular blog I am not blogging about a date but about dating in general.  I want to define what dating is in 2011.  I think dating is so different for so many people.  And you cannot have a healthy dating situation if who you are dating does not define dating the way that you do.  I am on this quest to date and to find someone.  I am not trying to sleep around and have sex with everyone that I date.  What is crazy to me, is that some people out there think that dating does mean sleeping with multiple people.  They think that the best way to get to know someone is by sleeping with someone.  I have had over 3000 men view my profile.  I have had so many winks and emails that I am exhausted.  And what is sad is that most of these emails and men only want to get in my pants.  The emails that I have received are so sexually driven, I wonder what is your problem?  Do not put that you want a "Longterm relationship" on your profile and then only want sex.  But in today's society people have mixed up sex with dating.  I do not want a "one and done"  I want to be with someone who truly wants to be with me for me.  I would rather spend my life alone with my family and friends than be in an un-happy un-healthy relationship. 

If you meet a person and you connect on every level.  You just fit, you are perfect in every way together, then why would you want to search for someone else?  Is that called being selfish?  When you are dating and you find that person who you want to be around, why do you contine to date other people?  Is that also part of our society, that we just want more more more?  And by more I mean multiple partners?  How can you really find and get to know someone when you are also getting to know 4 other people at the same time?  It should be so simple.  What happened to boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy wants to be in a relationship with girl?  What it has turned into is, boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy wants to sleep with girl, boy wants to date and sleep with other people while also dating and sleeping with the girl he likes, boy wants to keep all the girls around so he can pick who he wants to date.  Well, I will tell you this.........I am in control and I am not going to wait around for someone to pick me.  I pick ME!!!  I know I deserve someone who is honest and true and loving.  If it takes me 30 more years to find it, I will not settle for someone who is not settling with me!!!!  Be true to yourself and love yourself.  Be strong and know in your heart you were meant for something better!!!

~ONWARD

A Sweet Coffee Date......

Monday morning, I got my day started with A Sweet Coffee Date.  This guy was so sweet, charming, educated just a true southern gentelman.  I was attracted to him but knew this date would not last long, due to the fact we both had to get to work.  We sat down over a cup of coffee and just started having the best conversation.  We bumped into several friends while drinking our coffee it was just a great morning.  A Sweet Coffee Date is grounded and family driven.  We really had a terrific morning.  It was short but oh so sweet.  After only 45 minutes he walks me to my car.  It really did start my day off great!!!!!  I was looking forward to getting to know him more.

Later that day he sent me a text:
ASCD:  I would like to see you again soon.
Me:  Absolutely

After countless dinner and drink dates, I am smitten with a man that I just had one cup of coffee with.  Sometimes in life it is the simple things that really catch you off guard.

~ONWARD

An Evening in Paris...........

For my Sunday date, I chose to go on another date with an older man.  He seemed very well traveled, very charming, and was average looking.  He decided on a late lunch after church.  Once we meet, I realize that this man may be too old for me.  I think he would be fantastic for someone his own age or just a tiny bit older.  We did have a lot in common, but then he started talking about his grandkids!!  Yes!!!  Grandkids and his two older children that were closer to my age than he was.  He then starts telling me that he would LOVE to take me to Paris and not Paris, TN.  He would fly me there and buy my anything I wanted.  He told me to get my passport ready.  But the simple fact was, I was more interested in our server.  Our server was young and good looking and we started talking about tattoo's and had great conversation while An Evening in Paris ate our appetizer as I got to know our server.  We end the date without even a full meal being ordered.  Like I said earlier, he is a great catch for someone just a tad closer to his age.

The next morning the text came and it was sweet:
AEIP:  Let me know when you would like to do it again......Great conversation!
Me: No response
AEIP:  Good morning just wanted to say thanks again for meeting me, I truly enjoyed our conversation...Let me know if you would like to get together again.
Me:  Thank you, hope all is well.

I know the saying, "Age is nothing but a number" I sometimes think that a person may be too young or too old for you.  If I am at a certain place in my life I kind of want my partner to be in that same place or at least near it and this sweet man was in an entirely different chapter than I was.

~ONWARD

The Never Ending Date...............

My Saturday date was only suppose to be a quick little hike.  We had decided to meet at my favorite place to hike.  I really liked talking to The Never Ending Date, I felt that we had a great deal in common and we were on the same page about many things in our life.  So we met Saturday morning at 10am.  The moment he stepped out of his car, I knew I was not physically attracted to him.  But I had to work off all these date meals so off to hike we went.  We hiked for about an hour and a half at a very fast pace.  We talked about everything, about our families and our jobs.  We talked about past relationships, really anything and everything.  After the hike was over, I was tired and just wanted a shower but The Never Ending Date had other plans.  He wanted to grab some lunch and to be honest I was a little hungry so why not.  We landed at this great little taco place and did have a good lunch.  It was a beautiful Fall day and the conversation was great.  While at lunch I told him that I was meeting a gal pal for dinner and a movie.  He stated that he too had plans and that was cooking for his family that night.  Our lunch was over and we parted ways.

I head home and within minutes he starts texting me, telling me that he enjoyed our time together, wanted to see me again soon.  I went through my afternoon and had dinner with my gal pal.  During my dinner, The Never Ending Date started texting me again asking what I was doing and if he could see me after dinner.  I explained that we were hitting a 10pm movie and he asked if he could "tag along".  I said sure because I thought he was joking, but guess what....he was serious.  He asked where we were going and what we were going to see and BOOM The Never Ending Date was there.  So there we sat in the movie, me, my gal pal and The Never Ending Date.  After the movie we parted ways AGAIN......

The next morning I received this text:
TNED:  Good morning beautiful! I am off to Sunday school and church.  Let me know if you would like to meet for the 11am service (he told me which church), would love to sit with ya! :)

Me: No response.

Now, what this man does not realize and it is not his fault, is that I have to get in 30 dates in 30 days and I cannot waste another entire day on him.  I did not feel that we connected and to be honest I want a guy that respects my time with my gal pals.  Because your girlfriend's are the people who get you through your 30 dates and who listen to you when you are heart broken.  My gal pal's are so important to me and I need a guy that understands that and allows me to have that time.

~ONWARD

You Pick My Next Date.......

So since I started this, you know that I have not had much luck.  So I sat down and went through the dating site of potential daters that have emailed, contacted me or viewed my profile.  I asked in my last blog.."Where Is Normal"?  Well, this is apparently normal to some people.  The pictures below are actual profile pictures.  Based on these profile pictures, I am letting you decide my next date.........

 Now he is bringing Sexy Back!!!

 Do you think he can teach me how to play the guitar or do a fantastic blow out?

 Which car is mine?



Cirque du Soleil



Can we get matching tattoos?



  Is this Jack Hanna?

A picture is worth a thousand words......

Does anyone have a snow suit I can borrow?

Design on a dime?

I don't like my picture taken....

Well there you have it.  The question is, "Is normal out there"?  So it is in your hands, you get to decide which one of these fine young men I go out with. 

~ONWARD 

So What Do You Do?????

Okay so after my two date fiasco on Thursday, I decided to go out with a guy that seemed very normal on paper.  According to his profile picture he was very cute.  The only thing that concerned me was that he had three young boys.  But I agreed to meet him for a quick drink and a small bite to eat.  I get there and he is as all my dates are, already there sitting at a table.  As I approach I see that he is on the phone.  I sit down and order a drink.  I have never met this man and he is sitting there talking to his boss on the phone for the next 10 minutes.  He finally gets off the phone and for the next hour he talked about his job.  This is what I do, Janice is the secretary, Janice is not very good, Tim is a rep, Tim #2 is the IT guy, and on and on and on.  So What Do You Do would NOT stop talking about his job.  I knew more about his workplace than I even knew about him.  We did not talk about our families or our friends or what we like to do in our spare time.  It seems I know more about Janice and what she likes to do than I do about So What Do You Do.  It was exhausting.  I felt like I was at work just sitting there listening to him.  I think I may have had only two beers that I could not even finish because I was so anxious to get to my car.  After learning all there is to know about So What Do You Do and his job and the two Tim's and the awful secretary Janice I told him that I needed to be headed home.  He walks me to my car and kisses me on the cheek.

The next day I get this text message from So What Do You Do....
SWDYD:  Right now I wish U and I were snuggled up in comfy clothes, under a blanket on a couch just chillin' watchin a movie! :)  That would b awesome!

Me: No response

I mean COME ON DUDE!!!!!!  You want me at your house so we can go over work papers??  Seriously, where are the normal guys???  If they are normal and I like them, then they are dating other people or married.  If I do not like them, then they are all about me and available.  I think at this point I just want someone that I can have a normal conversation with and a good time.  WHERE ARE YOU NORMAL????

~ONWARD

And So You Are Married & My Livin Girlfriend........

So on Thursday I had two dates in one day.  I must say that at this point I am getting very discouraged.  But I must press on.  I decided to do a lunch date with And So You Are Married because my next few nights are booked up.  We had spoken on the phone and had sent several text message back and forth for about a week.  We decided on a meat n three which I love!!!  I arrive only about 5 minutes late and he is already there at a table.  He is not super attractive but we had good phone conversations so I think why not and have a seat.  We order our food and begin talking about our families.  He mentions something about his wife and I think to myself he must have meant to say ex-wife.  So, I say "do you mean ex-wife"?  He then looks at me and says no, my wife. I then say...And So You Are Married?   I say, "Do you live with your wife"?  He nonchalantly state that yes he lives with his wife and their children. I was floored I ask if his wife knows that he is on a dating site, he looks at me and says "Uh hell no she would kill me".  He tells me that he is not happy and that he is just trying to see what else is out there.  I think I bruised my jaw due to the fact it hit the table so hard.  I don't want to judge people and their relationship, but I also do not want to be apart of him trying to "find what is better."  I look at him and thank him for meeting me and grab my purse and leave.  I did not even get to taste my macaroni and mashed potatoes which made me even more mad. If And So You Are Married called me once he called me a thousand times after I left and also sent that many text messages, just letting me know that he really likes me and thinks I could be the "one" for him.

On to the night, my date and I had also spoken for about a week over the phone.  He decided on a nice place and then told me to bring along some friends.  I thought this was odd, but hey why not.  So armed with my gal pal we go and meet my date.  When I see him I was happy.  He was tall, handsome and oh so charming.  We had a great meal and ordered almost everything off the menu. The three of us enjoy a nice meal, me, my gal pal and My Livin Girlfriend.  I really liked him and so did my friend.  He was so easy to talk to and had such a great sense of humor.  Even though I had a rough first date of the day, this one was making up for it.  My friend was ready to go but I was not.  She said she could cab it to her house and off she went.  My date also told me that he had taken a cab to dinner.  I was enjoying myself, this man was educated, had a great job and was so funny.  After a few hours my date asks me if I would mind driving him to his house so that I can see his "mansion".  Yes, he said mansion.  I liked him so I obliged.  Now, he did live in a nice house but I would not call it a mansion.  We walk in and he wants to take me on a tour so on a tour we go.  He shows me the living room, the den and the outside pool area.  As we are walking back inside from the pool I notice a pair of female slip on's with a slight heel.  I put that in the back of my mind.  As we go into the master bedroom I notice a curling iron in the master bedroom.  I then ask, "Do you use that curling iron often"?  (Now I must say that my date is bald)  He looks at me and says, "Oh that is My Livin Girlfriend's".  Discouraged is not even an appropriate word to use at this moment.  I say you have a girlfriend that lives with you?  Yeah, but we just started sleeping in separate rooms. I then start to notice all the pictures of the two of them together.   I ask where she is and he states she is out of town working for the night. I then begin to understand why he would want my friend there, so it would not look like a date.  I grab my keys, thank him for dinner and walk to my car to go home.

That night and the next morning I want to throw in the towel.  I mean how did this happen, two dates in one day and both not available.  I do not want to do this anymore.  I have gotten several emails from men that are upfront about being married.  I received one the other day that told me he was married and that his wife knew he was on the dating site.  He stated that she wanted him to be happy.  This was his second marriage and did not want to be divorced twice.  As I stated earlier, I am not one to judge someone and their marriage or relationship but if you are not happy then GET OUT!!  Be enough of a MAN or a WOMAN and follow your heart and do what you want and what will make you happy.  Why are you on a dating site?  Now, I know I am on this dating site and blogging about it, but I want to find someone that makes me happy and find a true relationship.  But I also want to write this blog for all the non-single people out there to let them know how hard dating is and also for all the single people out there to let them know they are not alone.  There are some situations in life that you cannot control and then there are some that you can, I will tell you this I am not the girl that will allow herself to be in any type of relationship with a man that is unavailable.

~ONWARD

Let Me Show You My Bicep's...Part 2.......

Well, I did it.  This is the first time I have gone on a second date since starting this little thing. After our first date Let Me Show You My Biceps and I sent several text messages back and forth about getting together again.  Now, if you will remember my first blog about him I thought he was super dreamy and really wanted to see him again.  So we agree to dinner and again the location was a very nice place.  I was ON TIME!!!  You know when I am on time it means something.  I see him and I was speechless.  He looked delicious and I could have just eaten him instead of my sushi.  I wanted to dip him in the soy sauce.  Conversation was great.  We had not had any phone conversations since our first date just as I had said a few text messages.  The date was easy almost too easy and I could not stop looking at him.  I wanted this date and meal to be over quick and not for the same reasons that I had wanted my previous dates to be over....wink wink....This time around I wanted to see more than just a bicep. As our dinner winds down, now I am the one wanting the date to continue.  I longed for him to ask me to go somewhere else.  I would have sang karaoke, played pool, or thrown darts with this man.  I was mesmerized.  We walk outside and he walks me to my car.  He asks me to drive him to his car which was around the corner.  He gets in I start the car, I turn on some music and the car stays in park for some time. I feel like I am in high school again on this date and in this car.  The defrost is needed...wink....wink.....let me just say it is one thing to see the "bicep" it is an entirely different thing to "feel" the "bicep"......wink.....wink......As I go to finally put my car in drive, my car dies.  Let Me Show You My Biceps gets out and gets under the hood of my car and determines my battery has died.  I suggested that I call my AAA because I have a silver membership.  My date tells me he is better than a silver membership and that he can fix it.  We go and get jumper cables and he jumps me off!!!!  A kiss goodbye and I am off.  I was on a high on the way home.  Smiling from ear to ear. 

All morning I think, am I only attracted to Let Me Show You My Biceps because of his outward appearance?  Do I even like him as a person?  He seems so flawless on the outside but what about the inside?  Could I see myself growing old with him, laughing with him, just being with him?  Would I miss him during the day because of the words that he speaks or because of how he looks.  Why are we so consumed with what a person looks like, how much they weigh, and the size of their biceps.  Those things do not sustain a lasting relationship.  It goes deeper than that it is about a person's heart.  Now I will leave you with this, it is almost 5pm the next day and I have not heard from my date.  No after date text or call......guess we will explore that one later.

~ONWARD

Oh Hell, He has on Reader's............

Well ladies and gents, another day and another grueling date.  Although, this time I decide to pick the place that my girlfriends go every Tuesday so I could hang with them a bit before my date arrives.  He told me he needed to meet me late and at this point I am not sure why.  But I take this opportunity to unwind with a few girlfriends.  At about the time my date was to arrive, my girlfriend that was facing the door screamed, "He's HERE" (she did not even know what he looked like).  She then says. "OH MY he just put on his reader's, OH HELL HE HAS ON READER'S" and "He is texting you right now". Sure enough my phone beeps and it is a text message.  I get up from my seat and wave him over to my table.  He does in fact have on reader's and I wonder what he is trying to read as he meets my friends.  My friend's offer him a seat at our table but he declines and says he would rather sit alone with just me.  Off we go as my girlfriends make fun of me and him.  We sit at our own table and order our food. Now, I must say he said he was in his early 40's but in reality he looked like he was in his early 60's.  He has on dress clothes while I am wearing my jeans.   I soon find out why he needed to meet me later.  I find out that he is just a few months divorced and he has been to a support group for divorced people.  That is why he had to meet me later due to his divorce group.  He then tells me that this is his THIRD go at divorce group.  Now he is only recently divorced like 2-3 months and he has attempted this divorce group three times already.  We sat and ate and talked about divorce group for about an hour.  I then did not want him to see me stabbing myself in the eye with the fork, so I told him I needed to go to the bathroom and headed back over to my friend's table and realize I was gone far too long.  I head back to the table and he has gotten the check.  I am guessing he was too tired to pull out his Reader's because he handed the bill to me and ask that I read it to him.  He then later told me that he had Reader's but was too embarrassed to pull them out.  In the back of my mind, I was thinking aww hell we already saw those bad boy's no need to hide them now.  He paid the check and asked me to go downtown with him to sing karaoke.  Now, this is a Tuesday night it is late and you have reader's, the last place I am trying to go is downtown with you.  Heck how could he read the words on the screen to even sing?  I of course said yes and said I would meet him there.  Instead I met my bed at home.  WHY DO I DO THIS?????  Time and time again I agree to go or do something and go home instead.  What does this say about me.
Later last night I get this nice little text from Oh Hell, He has on Reader's....

OHHHOR:  Where are you? WOW (insert my name here)!!!!  Life is too short for grudges.  But I sure thought u were a straight shooter.  My best to u.  U r cold to lie to me.  My best to u. why didn't u just be honest. A no is fine w me.  It is no big deal.  Just be who u hold yourself out to be.  The main reason I went out w u was because u seemed to be a person who says what she thinks.  If u need help w it I'll help u as a friend. 

Me: No response.

Question do I need to sign up for a "group"?  I am not sure why I keep doing this, saying I will go elsewhere with a date and instead going home.  I just wish a date knew when to end the date, but it is as if this is there last night out before they are locked up for life. And really how long should a first date be?  Within six seconds of meeting a person you know if you like them or not.  I don't need karaoke or pool or darts to find this out.  I just need to see you walk in with READER'S.

~ONWARD

HOLLY, HOLLY, HOLLY............

Now, I know I have said this before but this time I mean it, I was really looking forward to my date from Monday night.  We had spoken on the phone several times for several hours.  He was and is an author and I was intriqued by his personality and knew from our conversations that we would have a good date.  We decided to meet at a place at a certain time.  Life happened and I was late.  Seems like life happens to me quite a bit.  I walk in and it is packed.  He looks at me and says, "You told me you were going to be here in 15 minutes, 25 minutes ago."  I apologize and felt bad, until I realize that he had not even put our name down.  He had been there for 25 minutes and did not put our name down at this packed resturaunt.  Even the bar area was full.  So we decide to leave and go to another place.  We sit down immediatley.  I had not even gotten my drink and less than 5 minutes of us sitting down it began.  Holly this, Holly that.  Holly, Holly, Holly, Holly, Holly, Holly and Holly.  If you are wondering who Holly is, well it is his ex wife from TWELEVE years ago.  YES I SAID 12 YEARS!!!!!  Do you think he is still bitter?  I know that Holly hates Christmas, Holly is a princess, I hate Holly, Holly destroyed my life, Holly does not like to travel, Holly avoids my phone calls (and I am thinking at this point so will I be), Holly is mean and on and on and on for over 2 hours.  The place was so loud that he could not get his point across about Holly so we walked across the street for coffee.  While at coffee he talked more about Holly and how she really destroyed him as a person.  His baggage was so heavy, I could not even pick it up.  I finally was able to escape and I was DRAINED!!!  I left there feeling like his problems were my own.  I went home and all I could do was go to sleep this date wore me out and not in a good way.

As I was talking to a girlfriend it got us thinking why are people on a dating site and what are they really looking for.  HOLLY, HOLLY, HOLLY clearly was not over his first wife yet he was out dating and trying to find his soul mate.  Other people are on dating sites just to hook up.  Even when these people find someone that they connect with they are still looking.  Some people are on dating sites and they are married.  So it leads me to ask, at what point do you take yourself off a dating site and begin to explore something you may have found.  Now, you may be wondering why I am on a dating site and it is to find something and someone true.  If and when I find someone that is worth getting to know more, I will hide my profile and explore that relationship.  As I have said in the past dating is hard, but some people make dating and finding that special someone even harder. I hope my exhaustion leads to someone who will want to hide his profile for me.

~ONWARD

Sunday NOT so Funday..........

Sorry again for the delay on my Sunday blog but I had some computer issues.  I chose to go out with a guy that I was a little doubtful of but he seemed nice enough.  He had a sexy name, but sexy he was NOT.  He is a nice Christian man which I want to find.  We decide that we will go to church together and then to brunch.  We are both in the process of "church shopping" so we pick a church that we both want to try.  We meet and I decide that this man with a sexy name is not me at all!!!!! He is wearing an over sized sweater that is V-neck with no undershirt underneath.  UGHHH!!! As we sit in church I keep wondering what is that noise.  I keep hearing this over and over again, I finally realize it is my date and he has some sort of nervous tick.  If I could have recorded it I would have and then put it on this blog.  Every 5 minutes my date sounded like he was taking off and ready to fly somewhere. 
After church he wants to take me to brunch and I oblige because we all know..."A Girl's Gotta Eat."  He picks a very very very nice place and I feel kind of bad because I know I am not into this guy.  But we go and have a good meal but then again I feel like I am at the airport waiting to take off because of Sunday NOT so Funday's noise.  After a grueling hour and a half we say our goodbye's.  I still the next day and now can hear that noise in my mind.

Sunday's are usually reserved for Sunday Funday, my this past Sunday was not so much.  I know he needs a great girl who will overlook any noises he might let out in the middle of church service but I was not that attracted to Sunday NOT so Funday to begin with so I could not over look it.  I guess I will keep my future Sunday's to FUNDAY'S!!!!!!

~ONWARD

There's Something About Larry........

I had spoken to my Saturday night date several times on the phone and through email.  He seemed nice and I was looking forward to the date.  Earlier in the afternoon he had sent me several text messages trying to decide where we were going to go, at about 5:12 pm or exactly 5:12pm this is the text message I receive grammatical errors and all...
TSAL: How does diner and drinks..hunted house, horse and buggy ride to the confederate grave yard and ghost stories sound for tonight?
Now, I must tell you that when I received that text my girlfriend was at my house and we had the biggest laugh.
Me: Well if that's what you have planned.

So, he then decided on dinner or DINER in his case and a trip to Zanies.  So our teenage date actually was going to turn into an adult date.  He picked a great place to eat and we arrive.  Much to my surprise we have Larry and his wife waiting for us.  He introduces us and says, "This is my best friend Larry."  I am easy going so I go with the flow, but my wheels get turning as I am eating with There's Something About Larry, Larry, and Larry's wife and I say you know what I am going to invite my friends to Zanies.  I go to the bathroom make a quick phone call and have a friend and her guy friend lined up to meet us at Zanies.
As the dinner is going on, it was very odd conversation.  The entire conversation revolved around Larry and his new bride.  Larry's wedding, Larry's bachelor party, Larry's house, Larry's blah blah blah.  I knew more about Larry than my date and it was hard getting to know my date.  I felt like I was dating Larry.  And it seemed Larry was coaching my date.  Dinner winds down and we head to Zanies.  I tell my dateS that I have some friends meeting us at Zanies.  We get to Zanies, grab a great table and my friends arrive.  The ENTIRE TIME, There's Something About Larry is rubbing my back.  Now I like a good back rub, but not in public and not on the first date.  At this point I am more interested in my friend's cute guy friend than I am in my date.  The show is good but the back rub is NOT.  The show is finally over and we get to leave.  Larry and his wife leave first and then me and There's Something About Larry.  I knew in an instant that we were not a match. 

This morning the text came......
TSABL:  I think you are an amazing young lady and I had a great time last night.  You are beautiful and very nice.  I do want to have another meet.  I was really pumped up after our date cause I had finally went out with someone I really like.  I don't want to keep bothering you if you are not interested, but I think I'm worth it and I know you are.  Please just text me and let me know either way.  You are awesome BTW.

Me: No response.

Now, he is a nice guy but what does it say about a guy that needs his buddy Larry to be the filter for him.  Does my guy not know how to hold a conversation?  Is he scared of me?  Is There Something SO great about Larry that he thought I would be drawn to?  I am unsure about why he had his best bud meet him and his first date at a very nice restaurant but that sort of turned me off.  Now, I will plant my girlfriends in a bar and have them spy, but I would never just say SURPRISE we are having dinner with my friends.  I did not get to know anything about There's Something About Larry, but I know everything about Larry....

~ONWARD

My Cup Is Empty.........

So in order to get my dates in and still have somewhat of a life, I needed some dates to be in the morning.  So I chose to meet My Cup Is Empty for coffee Friday morning.  I arrive at a local coffee shop and he is already there drinking his cup of Joe.  I get in line to get my cup, but he sees that the line is long so he gets up from the table to join me in line which I thought..."Oh what a nice gesture."  Armed with my cup of coffee we sit down.  Now, I must tell you that I knew everything about this guy from his profile except one thing and that was the color of his eyes.  While talking to him prior to the date I had asked him about his eye color and he stated he would tell me later. Hmmmmm tell me later?  Do you have purple or orange eyes?  I was intrigued, so while sitting across from him I tried to look at his eyes the problem was he would NOT look at me.  He talked to me while looking across the room.  He would not look me in the eye when he spoke which has always said a lot about a person to me.  While not looking at me he talked about his family and how he was the only one left to carry on his family name and so for the next 52 minutes that is what he focused on BABIES, BABIES, BABIES, and more BABIES.  It was the longest 52 minutes of my LIFE!!!!!  After my pretty cup of coffee turned into just a cup I think we both realized that we did not have chemistry.  He walked me to my car and we said our goodbyes.  Sometimes you just know is not meant to be.

My Cup Is Empty....

~ONWARD

The Human Skittle......

SO YES, I am a day late with my blog but life happens and so today you all will get TWO for the price of One.  My date Thursday night was awful to put it mildly.  I am not sure who or what hit me over the head and made me agree to meet this man but I did and I went.  He chose a little pub and when I arrived he was already seated.  As soon as I saw him I looked for a way out.  Had he not spotted me, I would have bailed but he did so I joined him.  There was no way for me to miss my date because he literally looked like a human skittle.  I think as I approached the table I heard "Taste The Rainbow."  However, this was not a rainbow I wanted to taste.  His shirt was so colorful that I was glad that I made it through the date without having a seizure.  Not only was it colorful, it was silk and tucked into his stonewash jeans.  Then if those things were not enough around is neck was a gold chain.  I quickly look to make sure he is not wearing a pinky ring on both hands.  His stomach bulged so much that I thought at any moment that a burst of Skittles were going to emerge from it.  Now for those of you who know me you know I love to eat however, I ordered water thinking he would get the hint.  The Human Skittle did not, he ordered an appetizer a full meal and then dessert.  As I sat there wanting someone to poke my eyeballs out Skittle man was having a grand little dinner.  The conversation was dull and had I had a pillow I would have taken a nap.  The only thing keeping me focused was his shirt.  I could not take my eyes off this magical garment.  What is so crazy though, is as I sat and drank WATER and did not say much he apparently thought it was going so well that we should venture off to another local pub and shoot pool with his "buddies."  I wanted to scream..."DUDE, GET A CLUE."  But instead I pulled my old line and said sure I will follow you.  I actually got in the car and called a friend and said, "I didn't want to go."  She said "Don't go then."  At that point I did not want to waste anymore of my night especially holding a pool stick.  So once again he turned right and I turned left and headed home.

I got home and thought, how could The Human Skittle think this date was going so well that it should continue?  He had to have some sense that I was not having a good time.  Are we wanting companionship so bad that even at it's worse it is still better than being alone?  I am trying to figure that one out.  Because I am tired of coming home alone every night.  I do crave companionship but not at the risk of being miserable.  My companionship lies in the hands of my dear girlfriends right now until I find the right man. 

~ONWARD

Bringing Sexy Back...........

As I said in yesterday's blog, I was oh so looking forward to last night's date.  I got my nails done, my hair done and I had picked out the perfect outfit.  I was hoping that would be the night that I finally had a decent date.  The location and time was picked out and I was getting very excited.  Earlier in the afternoon I get a pre date text and it went a little like this........
BSB: You are gonna love the sport coat I'm wearing.  Baby SEXY is back well in 3 hours he will be.  You don't even know.  My hair slicked back. My fancy clothes.Changing the look of the world one person at a time. Ha.
Me: No response
Now, I will admit and say when I read that text the first thought was oh goodness what have I gotten myself into.  But since we had talked for almost a week on the phone and I enjoyed every single one of our conversations I overlooked the arrogant tone in that text.  So after getting some much needed rest during the day I was ready to go and out the door on TIME.

I arrive at 6:59, yes that is one minute early at a great restaurant.  He looks great and I do in fact like the tailored sports coat that he is wearing.  We finally take a seat.  Order a round of drinks and then he states that he needs to leave and go down the road for a pack of cigarettes.  He then gets up and leaves.  He is gone for about 15-20 minutes.  I literally thought that Sexy Back had gone to perform a concert or sale hair gel or was walking on a runway somewhere.  He then reappears with cigarettes in hand.  Now our meal was something out of a movie.  I did feel like I was in the movie Pretty Woman unlike my previous date.  If it was on the menu then we ordered it.  We had beef, we had pork, we had chicken, and seafood.  Anything anything anything.  The conversation was good and the food was even better. He continues to go outside and smoke and on one of his returns he states that some college kids thought he was Steven Segal and that he obliged and took pictures with them.  But I am sitting there thinking..."You are not, so why would you pose for a picture."  So everytime after that he stated, I am going to smoke with my "fans".  Towards the end of the meal he mentions that he has a great patio over looking the city, and we could go back and continue our date.  He also orders a cup of coffee and it is served in a very expensive Indian cup.  He wanted that cup to take home.  After asking two servers he then went to the manager and insisted that he have the cup to take home with him.  The manager finally gave in and the cup was his.  He looked at me and said, "You know why I was able to get that cup, because I am the best looking, best dressed person in here."  And yes I was still in the restaurant so he was including me in that statement.  I finally agree to go back to his great patio and he orders a bottle of wine from our server, opens it and takes it with us.

His condo is nice and his patio is very nice.  He asks me if I am cold and brings me a cashmere blanket.  Had I brought my bigger purse I would have snagged it.  We drink some wine and still the conversation is good. At one point in the night I go to the bathroom and decide to look in his cabinet.  You can find a lot out about a person by what is in their cabinet. As I look, it is completely empty.  LIKE NOTHING AT ALL!!  So I wonder, what does that say about him?  Is he empty? One thing I do know, he does love himself quite a bit which makes me think, could I love or even like a man who loves himself that much?  What if we did get in a relationship nothing would ever be his fault because he is perfect.  For example, he was married and the reason for the divorce was silly to him, his wife said he cheated but he claims he did not because the other girl "serviced him" and he really did nothing.  So since he is perfect how could he ever think he has any flaws.  He states that he is very nervous around me and I am not sure why.  As the date winds down he tries to make put the moves on me.  I respectfully decline and he asks why?  I state that if I do that tonight, you will not respect me in the morning and don't say that you will because you will not.  Before I leave he tells me he would like to see me on Sunday for a boat ride, I just hope his boat does not have FU**ENGRUVEN down the side.  I tell him to call me later and we will discuss Sunday and then I leave.

This morning I receive the text message:
BSB: How you doing sexy. (Guess now I am bringing Sexy Back) Thank you for a great evening.
Me:  You are welcome.  I had fun.
BSB: Still wanna get together Sunday if you can.

Now, I do like him but I wonder if I can get passed his also liking himself.  Confidence is sexy but over confident is not.  I have decided that if I do go out with him again, I would like a date during the day.  I am thinking maybe he will be toned down during the day.  Also, there is not many men asking for sexy time on a day date.  I want to get to know Sexy Back on a much lower key date.  I want to be able to talk to him without having an entire feast staring me down.  Who knows if this will go anywhere, but I finally did return a text message.........

~ONWARD

Wrap It Up....Your Therapy Session is OVER.........

Well, here we go again.  It is Wednesday and I must say that I am exhausted.  Not only physically but mentally.  To line up these dates you have to understand that I have to talk to a great number of guys in a day not to mention the emailing back and forth.  I think I need a dating assistant.  My date last night lived 2 hours away and wanted to take me to dinner and a hockey game.  I was actually looking forward to this date.  I love dinner and do not go to many hockey games.  As I have mentioned I am always late and I am trying to work on this, my date however was an hour and a half late.  So late that we did meet at the restaurant but we did not get to eat or drink because we had to make it on time to the hockey game.  As I meet him I immediately know that I am not attracted to him.  He has on sparkling white orthopaedic shoes, holes in his khaki shorts, a suit shirt on, and a baseball cap.  We go to the game and he is non stop talking, talking, talking, talking.  I am thinking at least when we get to the game he will hush.  Our seats are incredible, right on the ice.  I look at our ticket and realize he has spent a fortune on these seats.  Throughout the game he is still talking, talking, talking and his orthopaedic shoes are still sparking.  I enjoyed the game but was relieved when it was finally over.  We get back to the car and he literally will not shut up.  He is talking about everything under the sun.  It is getting very late and I am getting tired.  So tired in fact that I doze off while he is talking, to that I get a "Hey are you falling asleep?" UH YEAH it is 2:30 in the morning.  I felt like I was his therapist.  Now, I took psychology in college but damn.  I felt like I needed to send him a bill once it was all over. I sort of wished this was a therapy session because in a therapy session there is a time limit.  As I have said I want to get to know my date but do you really have to spill it all on the first go around?  Here is a little hint, if your dates eyes are shut and you are not about to give her a surprise then there is something wrong.  He finally releases me and I head home.

He has called and text me all day, with me not replying.  I did just tell my friend after all of this is over I may need to change my number.  After not responding all day I received an email.  I would re-write this email, however it is a NOVEL.  Basically to sum it up, he apologized for talking so much, he enjoyed me, he wanted to see me again, he realizes that I am not interested by the silence on my end all day, and he would like for me to know that I should just tell him instead of ignoring him. Maybe that is true but do I owe these guys an explanation?  Do I have to let them know anything?  Maybe I could use some suggestions on this question.  Is it rude for me not to tell a guy that I am not interested?  I feel like my silence should say it all.  Don't get me wrong, I think my therapy patient has a great heart and he was really sweet but the attraction on my end was just not there.  I can't force my attraction with him or any guy and I have to start standing my ground on when enough is enough of the constant talking.  I will end this by saying that I have been looking so forward to my date tonight.  My girlfriends think this might be the guy.  So I say that to say......STAY TUNED.

~ONWARD

FU**ENGRUVEN......... (FU**EN GROOVIN IS HOW TO PRONOUNCE)

Fill in the blanks for the above title and what you have there my friends is what my date has named his speed boat.  Really I should have stopped the date when he showed me pictures of his FAMILY boat and on both sides going all the way down the side of the boat is FU**ENGRUVEN. But I stayed and let me just tell you, I am unsure how or why I chose to go out with FU**ENGRUVEN.  He chose a restaurant that I am not too fond of, but I thought hey I will just order an appetizer and be gone.  After spending about 0.5 seconds with this guy I realized I have just wasted my Monday night.  I have NEVER eaten cheese fries so fast.  I wanted to leave immediately after eating but FU**ENGRUVEN had other plans, and those plans were to talk constantly and to talk only about himself.  I find out soon that he is in the Rodeo.  Yes, I said RODEO which explains his attire (flannel shirt and steel toe boots.) He talked about his ex wives, his step children, his real children, his FU**ENGRUVEN FAMILY boat. Also the fact that he is on the dating site at the insistence of his 8 year old daughter, how does an 8 year old know about a dating site?  She probably just wanted him out of the house some so she would not have to listen to him talk. All of this as I sat wanting to cover my face in the cheese that was smothering my fries.  I did not get in one word and when he did finally as me a question this is exactly how it went.......
FG: If you could go to three places anywhere in the world where would you go?
ME: UH
FG: TIME OUT, Let me tell you my three favorite places first before you tell me mine.
1) Gatlinburg
2) Destin
3) Niagara Falls
YES ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD and that is what he has chosen.
Now, do you think he knows my three favorite places?  The answer is NO because after he told me his three favorite places (all of which I think are featured on exotic places on the Travel channel) he then continues to talk excessively about himself.  He also then called his step children stupid idiots and I wondered if he would call my children stupid idiots if, I got hit in the head with a hammer and fell madly in love with this world traveler.  Having been a step child myself, I find it very insulting that he would find it ok to call any child these words.  Now I can't even tell you if he knew that I had children or not but for him to say these things about his own step children made me wonder if he had some sort of vomit of the mouth.
FINALLY it was over and he walked me to my car.  I thanked him for my cheese fries and I told him that I enjoyed LISTENING to him talk.  He then said yeah guess I should have let you talk some.  YOU THINK FU**ENGRUVEN?

Of course I received the text message:
FG: Thank you for talking to me last night..
Me: No response.

I love a guy that is confident and wants to talk about himself and his family.  What I am not too fond of is not even letting me answer a question that YOU asked me.  It is sooooo hard to get to know people these days.  You want to know everything about a person you are on a date with but there is also much to be said about a person and the way they listen and I did not get to see that side of FU**ENGRUVEN. So another day and another date.....

~ONWARD

Let Me Show You My Biceps.....

Here is the question for the day....Is age only a number?  I decide to go on a date with a man 14 years older than me.  I was a bit worried at first because he initially wanted to go to dinner at 5:30pm.  I mean I have always heard the expression, early bird special and now I was about to experience that for myself.  On the plus side, he picked a great restaurant so I was very excited about the night even though I knew I would need another meal around 9pm.  As I arrive and spot him I am immediately impressed.  He looks younger than me, he is dressed like a teenage model, has a huge belt buckle that says LUCKY (guess he was trying to say something) and was just a joy to look at.  As we sit down and start to talk I realize that I may be a tad smitten with this guy.  He is handsome, employed, educated, and athletic.  What's not to like?  I was actually shocked that I was enjoying myself for the first time on a date.  We were enjoying fine dinning and adult conversation.  He looked BETTER than his profile or profile picture.  HE then talked about college, work, kids, family, politics, religion (which I have always heard is a NO NO), and his workout routine which I found he is pretty fond of.  How do I know that you may ask?  Well, he pulls up his LONG SLEEVE shirt up and shows me his bicep.  At that point my RED RUN AWAY FLAG flew up and I had no idea what to say.  We are at a very nice establishment and he is doing the Gun Show at the table.  I ordered another drink, this time a double.  I got through the dinner and realize his EGO is bigger than his belt buckle but maybe he is nervous and just really wants to sale himself.  For the first time in less than a week I did enjoy the date even with the Gun Show.  We walked to the car and had a nice kiss goodbye and stated that we needed to do this again sometime soon, and I think I would indeed like to do this a second time.

That night I did receive a text message:
LMSYMB: Had a great time at dinner hope you made it home safe.  Would love to see you again soon.
Me: Sounds like a plan.

I realize that just because he is 14 years older than me does not mean we have nothing in common, he has the spirit of a 30 year old. I am worried though that what he thinks matters to me are material things.  I am not going to like a man because of his workout routine or because he has fantastic biceps.  I am more intrigued with what is in your heart instead of what kind of sports car you drive.  I want a man that is humble and that loves others and gives more than receives.  Humility is SEXY not a Lucky belt buckle.  But I must say that I did like him and maybe a second date is in order.  But the night and day is young and I have yet another date to get ready for so.......

~ONWARD

My Name's Not Lisa.........

Well, well well.......Saturday's night date was oh so fun and memorable.  My Name's Not Lisa and I tried to decide on a location and I suggested several places, but he was not interested.  Finally, he decided on a place which was a sports bar.  Now, I am a gal that LOVES sports and sports bar's but seriously first date and you want to take me to a sports bar??  My Name's Not Lisa is a musician and works for very popular singer, too bad I do not like this singer or I may have been more intrigued by him than I was.  So we meet at the sports bar that HE has chosen and we find a table.  He sits me directly under a TV and the date begins.  After about 10 minutes into the date I see that he has not ONCE looked at me but is talking to me while his eyes gaze toward the TV.  I realize he has purposely placed me under the TV so that he could be on a date as well watch his favorite college team. Now this makes me mad, because why assume that I want to be under the TV instead of watching the TV??  Had he said, my favorite team is playing let's go here and watch the game, I would have LOVED that.  But NO.  You had to act like you owned stock in this bar and that this table and my seat produced some sort of gold that you and I could live off of.  When in reality you just wanted to watch your beloved team and didn't want my head in the way.  As the night and the game wind down so does my patience.  We make our way to the bar area and My Name's Not Lisa knows the bartender and they start talking.  She is upset because a local musician has passed away that was a regular at this bar and they have a condolence card for all the regulars to sign.  They pass the card my dates way and he signs....Deepest Sympathy His name and LISA!!!  Now, I know many people want to know who the writer of this blog is, one thing I can tell you.......MY NAME IS NOT LISA!!!!!  After he signs the card he looks at me and says..."Oh goodness that is not your name is it?"  I look at him, shake my head no and just down my beer.  He then says, "Hey, lets go play darts."  I am guessing people named Lisa love to play darts, me on the other hand has NEVER played darts and do not find this amusing.  We walk next door to the other bar and what a shock all the dart boards are occupied.  He then says to me, "Hey there is a video game available, let's play that."  That was my limit!!!  VIDEO POKER???  On a Saturday night???  All, I could think about was, there is Kim Kardashian's wedding recorded on DVR that I have yet to watch and you want me to play video poker.  I tell him that I have an early morning and that I need to be headed home.  He walks me to my car and says..."I really messed it up when I called you Lisa didn't I?"  I said goodnight and got in my car.

Now the text message that is always so entertaining came later last night.........
MNNL: I enjoyed our date......(insert my real name here), I enjoyed my night......(insert real name here), I loved spending time with you......(insert my real name here), I hope to see you again......(insert real name here).  Good night......(insert real name here). 
Me: No response
Now, I know he was trying to prove a point by using my real name and not LISA in my text message but seriously???????  I am going on 30 dates in 30 days dude, if anyone should be getting names mixed up it should be me not you lame musician. 

So all of this to say, PLEASE get to know me and at least read my profile.  If you need to write my name on your hand to remember me then DO IT!!!!!  I want a guy that not only knows my name but wants to speak it more than any other word in the dictionary.  As I go into my date tomorrow, I wonder should I wear a name tag??

~ONWARD

Can You Please Wear Flats?????

I woke up this morning armed with a cup of coffee and the awful thoughts surrounding last night's date.  Since it was a Friday night, I wanted to line up someone I thought was attractive.  Now now, I know that may sound superficial but with the past 2 dates already not ending great, why not go for some looks.  We had decided on a place that actually was a great location so I thought this is a good start, and then the text message came......"Can you please wear flats?"  Now, I have my height posted on my profile so all I can gather is he is intimidated.  I immediately call one of my girlfriends and after much laughter we decide I should indeed wear HEELS!!!! I arrive to the little pub and he was waiting for me in the parking lot which I thought, "What a nice gesture."  After taking one look at him, it then hit me why he only had head shots in his profile.........Face of an Angel, body of a TROLL.  I am thinking, well if this thing goes anywhere I will save money by shopping at Children's Place for him.  As I tower over him we walk into this great little pub and listened to some music.  After a little while, he decided on another place that we could walk to, in order to "get to know one another."  On our walk he asks how many dates I have been on from the site, I tell him he is number 3 and ask the same question to him, he looks at me as if I had just asked his shoe size and says he does not want to answer that question.  And then it starts to happen, before we arrive at our next destination he is determined to find out if I will accompany him back to his house afterwards.  I tell him no, he then wants to know if he can come back to my place I again tell him no and explain I do not allow strange men in my home.  Once at our next destination the conversation went a little like this:
CYPWF: Will you come back to my house?
Me:  No
CYPWF: Will you come back to my house?
Me: No
CYPWF: Hey let's get a bottle of wine and go back to my place.
Me: No thank you.
CYPWF: I have an idea, let's go back to my place.
Me: No
If he asked once he asked 25 times for me to come back to his place.  After a draining game of back and forth with this little man,  I finally agree just so I could leave.  He was so excited I think he skipped to his car.  He wanted me to ride with him, which I declined and said I would follow him.  He then insisted he could bring me back to my car, I again said no that I would just follow him.  We get into the car and down the road we go.  As he turns right, I turn left and head home.  OH MY, Can You Please Wear Flats was not happy with my left turn.  He then proceeded to call me and text me for the next hour!!!  Where did you go?  Do you need directions back to my place?  How did you lose sight of my car?  I wanted to respond to that one and say it must be because I can't see you in my heels but I didn't. Are you ok? After an hour's worth of calls and messages he finally got the hint and stopped. 

As I sat at home I wondered, how does a person turn your NO into a YES?  Men turn women's no's into a yes and vise versa all the time.  Are we so eager to please one another that we are too afraid to be strong and keep our NO a NO?    I am on this journey to find someone that will respect my no and not want to change my no.  And also find a partner where mutual lust and mutual respect go hand in hand.  This dating thing is about getting to know one another and he was not interested in that with a bottle of wine back at his place.  He could get to know me over coffee or at a park but not at 9pm with a cork screw.  But all is well and the only thing left to say is........

~ONWARD

"A Guy's Gotta Eat"

Good morning all!!!  Well, Date #2 was last night and I am 0-2 right now.  The question I want to pose is what is a girl to do when a guy looks better on paper and in his picture than in person.  Now I knew I was going to run into this scenario at some point, and last night was the night.  I am sure that men on dating sites encounter this very same thing.  So A Guy's Gotta Eat and I had two prior phone conversations before meeting and he had actually cancelled on me prior to this date.  He chose the place which was a CHEAP mexican resturant.  Now I am not oppsed to cheap mexican, I actually enjoy it, but I thought for a first date this was not a good sign.  He sends me a text stating he is running late and to meet him in the bar area.  A Guy's Gotta Eat, actually calls the resturant and tells the bartender to give the stunningly beautiful tall girl at the bar anything she wants.  I am thinking, "This dude thinks he is filming Pretty Woman part 2" I mean really??  Anything I want??  Like free chips and salsa?  Well he finally arrives and he is NOTHING like his profile, but hey I am sure he will buy me cheese dip so we sit down for dinner.  He speaks Spanish which now I know why he picked this place and proceeds to speaks with our waiter the entire night in Spanish.  When I finally ask the waiter what A Guy's Gotta Eat is saying the waiter looks at me and says, "He says he loves you".  A Guy's Gotta Eat laughs and says actually I was telling him that you were paying for the meal tonight.  Being an independant gal, I tell him I can handle paying for my meal anytime.  As I eat my rice and beans and as the chips and salsa dwindle so does our conversation and date.  As the bill comes to the table he slides it in my direction.  I do not think twice and pay for the entire meal.  Again the long dreaded walk to the car and once again the lean in for a kiss, I gradually turn my head so he hits my cheek instead.  I thank him for a nice night and drive off.  In the car I think to myself, he called the bartender and told him to get me anything I wanted while I waited, on my tab I am guessing. I want to make clear that I am not opposed to paying for my meal or my dates meal, but have we lost the respect to even fight over the bill now days???  At least attempt to pay or at least attempt to pay for your own taco salad.  I know men have been paying for dinners since the turn of the century, but I have ALWAYS at least attempted to grab my portion.  It comes down to respect.  Now as you might recall in my very first blog I said that a wise MAN told me, go on as many dates as you can, because after all A Girl's Gotta Eat.  Well, apparently my date was told the same advice except it was A Guy's Gotta Eat.

Now, the past two dates I have wanted to blog as soon as I have gotten home but it is turning out that if I did then I would in both cases miss a great part of the date which is the next day text message, which in this case came at 7:15 this morning.....
A Guy's Gotta Eat:  Good Morning!! Thank you very much for picking up the ticket last night.  As a single guy I recogonize and appreciate the rare treat.  Thank you for your willingness and generosity. 

All joking aside, I am learning a lot about myself and the opposite sex.  We are all looking for someone to love and to be loved but the real question is "Do we even love ourselves?"  We all have a love story hidden deep inside of us just waiting to be told or written.  I will end this post with this, do not take love for granted and most of all value companionship.  Enjoy the now in life!!!

~ONWARD